One step at a time
by tomai
Summary: Karaoke,carnivorous grass, and Gasa gets crushed by a sake cask. What more do you people want!
1. What's happened in thirteen years?

**Well, greetings friends. Before I start, a few things you should know. First, this is my first fic, and any input I can get will be appreciated.I did starta fic before this, but then my computer ate it, soit's officially KIA.I don't want to post something no one will read. Next, this takes place a little more than thirteen years after the Comic ends. Everything that needs explaining will be explained, and if you're confused, feel free to put a question in the review section. And finally, this is a character driven action comedy. The characters are the big thing here, not what they're doing, like in the comic. This fic strays from the comic in many respects, and I rather like it this way, but I did try to keep people in character. So, without further adieu, on with the fic!**

Winter in Konoha is a beautiful thing. To see the snow, the crystallized tears of joy from heaven itself fall upon the frozen ground in the night sky is one of those things that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That is, it would if you were INSIDE on said cold evening with a roaring fire in the hearth and some warm beverage in your hands while your significant other is cuddling up beside you. If you were three very pissed off chuunin trudging through the slush of a Konoha snow storm and the wind chill factor is making your runny nose freeze over, and you're chasing after a singularly annoying kid, then winter in Konoha is worthy of a few expletives and rude hand gestures.

Unfortunately, for three chuunin, this was their predicament.

"Kiimbooo!" the lead chuunin yelled through frost-numbed lips.

"Let's face it man," one chuunin chattered out, "that brat lost us. Again."

The other stomped his foot, and thus slipped. His comrades helped him up, and he started cursing. "I swear, with you guys as my witness, if I catch that damn good for nothing, I'll," with this utterance the chuunin started to strangle the air.

"Hey come on guys," the third chuunin, a young man, said, "how about I do a final sweep so you guys can go home? It's getting late and you old guys probably have someone waiting for you."

The two other chuunin laughed gamely and disappeared. The third stood their for a second, and then grinned. "So long, suckers!"

With a poof of smoke, the young chuunin became a thirteen-year-old kid. Running his hand through his thick dark brown hair, the boy smiled, showing a row of rather sharp teeth. "Kimbo, you're some kind of genius!" He proceeded to do a little hop skip and began walking off, but then he fell down, completely paralyzed.

"That was an impressive henge, young un, but it's hard to lose me through Genjutsu alone," a masked man came out of the brush, and a massive dog followed behind him.

The boy, Kimbo, smiled as he saw the two. "Uncle Kiba! I didn't know you and Akamaru were following me!"

"My nephew puts two lobsters in the bathroom in the Hyugaa mansion and almost castrates the heir to the Hyugaa name, and you don't think I'll try to find him! Of course I will you scrawny little trouble maker! Now come on! You can explain what the heck you have against Hiromaru as I take you to the Hokage's house." The masked man, now revealed to be Kiba, hoisted his nephew over his shoulder, and started trudging to the hill that the Hokage's abode resided upon. "So, out with it, Kimbo. What demon possessed you this time?"

"Hiro was making fun of that girl who came in from that new hidden village."

"The girl Colleen from Oyamadagakure?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

Kiba mulled over this. "Well, that was kind of noble, but you would have another reason to do something of this scale. So, what else did he do?"

"He ratted me out when I put itching powder in Lee sensei's leg weights," Kimbo growled.

Kiba laughed at that. "So that was you, huh? Well, a prank like that deserves a last meal before your execution. Does Ichiraku's sound good to you?"

"Thanks, uncle Kiba! Can I get miso ramen?"

"Why not. You'll probably be behind that counter for a few months as punishment anyway." Akamaru barked in a way that sounded kind of like a laugh.

Kimbo shuddered. Chouji, the shinobi chef who had taken up the position of owner of Ichiraku's when the original owner retired, was a very nice guy, but he ran a tight stand, and it wasn't uncommon for new employees to be seen crying after the first day of working under him. He also had no sympathy for troublemakers, and worked them to the bone.

The two finally got there, and Kiba called for Chouji. The plump ninja cook came in and smiled at the two. "Hey you two, how are you doing?"

"Not bad, you Chouji?" Kiba asked.

"Just great! I just found out I'm going to be a father!"

"You're serious? That's great! So Ino's expecting?" Kiba exclaimed. He couldn't think of a better father then Chouji. When he got custody over Kimbo, Chouji really helped him out. Being an Anbu tracker wasn't nearly as scary as raising his nephew.

"Yeah, in about two months they say the baby will arrive!"

"Cool, but hey, I need to get somewhere. Can I have a miso ramen for Kimbo and two beef ramens for Akamaru and me to go?"

"Sure thing. Come on you swabs!" Chouji roared to two frightened kids, "You heard the customers!"

"Yes, Chouji sama!" the two boys, one tall with glasses, and a short one with a giant rain hat on said nervously.

"Gasa, Akira, is that you, guys?" Kimbo called out. His two friends waved at him before going back to work.

"Friends of yours, eh Kimbo?" Chouji said as he looked at the two very scared kids. "I thought as much."

"What did they do, Chouji? Should I tell there parents?" Kiba asked.

"No, it's fine. They're just working off a tab. Anyway, order's up." Chouji gave Kimbo a bowl of miso ramen, and gave Kiba two covered plastic cups full of ramen.

Kimbo excitedly attacked the ramen. Kiba grinned and wondered how long his enthusiastic nephew could inhale ramen like that before choking. Kimbo answered that four seconds later when he started to cough and splutter. At that moment, he reminded him more of himself then his older sister, who was very responsible, demanding, intense, and an excellent mom, who helped raise him along with his single mom when he was younger. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or worried that the kid took after him. But then he yawned and scratched Akamaru's head. The kid had plenty of time to grow up anyway.

Kiba smiled and gave Chouji the money he owed him. "Thanks, buddy. Well, we have to go. Take care."

"Hey, don't mention it. But hey, have you seen a couple of lobsters?" Kimbo and Kiba stopped in their tracks. Akamaru just growled knowingly. "I use them in my seafood ramen, and two went missing this afternoon," Chouji explained.

Kiba said he had no clue, partly because he didn't want to embarrass his nephew, and because he had a plan for his own personal punishment for him. With that lie, he took his two ramen cups and walked off to the Hokage's house with Kimbo in tow.

Finally, the two made it to the top of the hill. The house was very classy, but not very large. It rather represented the Hokage himself. He was an unassuming fellow who quietly watched over the entire village. He had his house built on the hill so he could literally look over the village.

Of course, Kimbo was not thinking of the poetic relevance of the house's location. He was fervently calling on a higher power for divine intervention. Besides his uncle, the Hokage was the one person he admired most. He often tried to help him out and on many occasions, he babysat his two daughters, Kaori and Ayame. The problem was that the Hokage did not tolerate troublemakers in any way, shape, or form and was especially hard on Kimbo, who had to date pulled fifteen pranks that year, each more daring and painful to the recipient. His last bout of punishment was to wash every window on the massive ninja academy complex four times. The punishment lasted six agonizing weeks and kept Kimbo on the straight and narrow for all of… three days, when he decided it would be funny to see his impassioned teacher Rock Lee dance around in agony.

Kiba walked up to the door while Kimbo was praying more ardently then he ever had in his life and knocked. A pretty woman in her late twenties opened the door. She had long bluish black hair and her white eyes revealed her part of the Hyugaa clan. When she saw Kiba, they lit up and she smiled.

"Kiba! Come in, how are you?"

"Not bad Hinata. Actually, if you could just get your husband, I found the kid who put those lobsters in the Hyugaa mansion." Kiba pointed to Kimbo, who was looking very sheepish.

"Again, Kimbo?" Hinata sighed, "When will you learn? Naruto's in the back, Kiba. Just sit down. I'll get him."

As Hinata walked off, Kiba gave a smile as he thought of how the shy little girl he was teamed up with as a genin had grown to be such a beautiful and capable woman. Then he shook himself vigorously. What was it with today and all the nostalgia he was feeling?

Kimbo was alternately looking to the future, or more accurately, watching his future gradually slip away. He couldn't even begin to think of what his punishment would be.

"Well, Kimbo, I would've thought that last bout of punishment would have beaten some sense into you."

Kimbo shamefacedly looked away as the Hokage strolled in. He was a tall man, and every ounce of him meant business. The main thing that you noticed when you looked at him were his eyes. They were blue, and seemed to glow with an intense light, like he was shooting mind bullets at you through them. This was Uzumaki Naruto, the sixth Hokage of Konoha, and one of the greatest ninja that ever lived.

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama," Kimbo said to his shoes.

"Don't be sorry," Naruto chided none to gently, "Don't be stupid either."

"But he was making fun of that new girl Colleen. He even called her demon girl and was laughing at her!" Kimbo exclaimed.

Naruto looked at Kimbo. It was obvious he was speaking from the heart. That was the problem with kids like Kimbo and his friends. They were nice kids, some of them were the nicest in the village, and they were all above average ninja, but they used their talents to cause mischief or to exact their own kind of 'justice'. Come to think of it, this year's stock was teeming with good ninja. He might have to make teams bigger.

"Why didn't you tell Lee sensei, or another adult, Kimbo?" Naruto asked.

"I didn't want to bother you with it," Kimbo mumbled.

"How about you let me and the other adults decide what's bothersome or not?" The Hokage said in a softer tone.

"I'll do better next time, Hokage sama," Kimbo said sincerely.

"Oh, I know you will," Naruto said, his eyes glowing almost, but not quite, maliciously. The Hokage was quite the prankster himself in his earlier days, and he knew the worst way to punish them. "Well, since this was done with good intentions, I'll give you a choice between six weeks at Chouji's," Kimbo shuddered noticeably, "or three doing community service."

Kimbo didn't even have to think. He snapped up that community service gig as if it was the last baby back rib at his uncle's house. When you live in a house with three males, one of them a dog and two rather dog like, the fighting over meat can get furious.

"Well, Kimbo, off you go. The final Genin exam is tomorrow and I'm sure you have some studying to do."

Kimbo nodded and thanked the Hokage on bended knees. He couldn't believe he had gotten this break!

"Akamaru, take Kimbo home. I think I'll stay here a while and talk with Hokage Sama." Akamaru barked a response and nudged Kimbo to the door. The two started towards Kiba's house.

With his nephew gone, Kiba dropped all polite. "So what have you got up your sleeve for my nephew, Naruto?"

"Trust me; it's the punishment to end all punishments. If this doesn't make Kimbo toe the line, I'll make him head of the Anbu squad. Half of them would wet their pants if they had to do it."

Kiba laughed. "It's amazing how much you've changed. If I recall, you were quite the prankster during your days as an academy student. I seem to recall a particular instance where you defaced the entire Hokage monument."

Naruto gave a humorless snort. "And where did it get me? I came close to staying an academy grad for all my life. Kimbo's a good kid. I don't want him to be like me when I was his age. He has too much talent."

Kiba just shrugged and smiled. "I don't know," he said thoughtfully, "you seem to have turned out okay. Well, I'd best get home now. Take care, Naruto." With that, Kiba disappeared, leaving behind a puff of smoke and thinking, "well, today was a real stroll down amnesia lane."

**Yeah, yeah. Crappy ending, but I wanted to end this with Kiba thinking how heavy the nostalgia was that day. At any rate, please read and review. I will really appreciate it. Flames are welcome. Light this sucker up till it burns. Trust me, I live with red necks who think Catholics are Jewish, crazy fan boys don't faze me. But please note that all stupid flames will be treated as jokes, and duly laughed at. I don't make fun of people for being mean, merely for being stupid. So, hope you liked peeking into my brain. See you next week.**


	2. The test begins part 1

**I really don't have much to say, save for sorry for the long wait. So I hope you enjoy the fic.**

Have you ever wondered why people are at their most thoughtful in the morning? For some inexplicable reason, people are more willing to dwell on thoughts before the sun is up. This time of day was Kimbo's favorite. He would often get up around 6:00, quietly pad in front of his uncle's room, fix a bowl of ramen, and eat breakfast while waiting for the sun to rise. Kimbo always liked his uncle's house, even if it had a slightly disheveled appearance, and one of his favorite features of it was the fact that the door faced east, so he could always watch the sun climb into the sky. He just liked to sort out his thoughts of the day while watching it come into existence.

Thoughtfully slurping up a couple of noodles he aimlessly peered into the still dark sky. He had a lot to think of. He started with Hiromaru. Kimbo couldn't stand the guy. He was contemptuous, snide, and was the third most intelligent kid in the academy. Kimbo's two friends Akira and Gasa tied for the smartest. This always got on Hiro's nerves because they often directed their impressive IQ's to coming up with insults for him. He was disapproving of most people, but was especially so to people associated to Gasa and Akira, which happened to include Kimbo. Kimbo didn't care. He was smart himself, and used his intellect to concoct the most dastardly pranks for Hiro. The problem was Colleen. Although he hated to admit it, it was partially his fault Hiro was going after her. She sat with him, and they often talked. Unlike the boys, who relished trading insults with Hiro, Colleen always tried to be as unassuming as possible; this made her a prime target for Hiro. He went too far to call her demon girl though, just because the new village of Oyamadagakure had tengu.

"I'm going to punch him as hard as I can in the face," Kimbo finally concluded. Satisfied that he had found an answer to his first order of business, he focused next on the thing really weighing on his mind: the genin exam.

Kimbo wasn't one to be worried about tests. He usually enjoyed them more than other forms of work as they lasted only one day, you took nothing home, and they usually had more value then regular grades. The main problem was that he had no idea what to expect this time. The teacher, Lee, was without a doubt the best teacher the academy had seen since the legendary Iruka sensei had left, and was the first jonin to keep his post as teacher when he was promoted, but he was rather eccentric. He worked his children to the bone in everything they did, from basic physical training to the practicing of ninjustsu. The end result was a class of kids who for the most part had the utmost respect for Lee, and who knew everything about being a ninja that can be stuffed in a tiny kid sized noggin, but who all had nothing but pure anger, not hate, but anger for what he put them through. One of the first changes he made was that the genin exam was always completely random. The kids had no idea what it was, so he forced them to know how to do everything. Kimbo wouldn't mind if it was taijutsu or genjutsu, but if it was ninjustsu, he would be worried. His chakra control was a bit erratic, and he didn't have the patience to learn the hand signals required for most basic jutsu well. Nonetheless, he wasn't really worried. He finally decided just to wing it.

Finally, he thought about his punishment. Naruto Sama had only said that it was going to have to do with helping an elder. Kimbo normally wouldn't have minded this, but the Hokage's eyes had glinted a bit too brightly for what ever it was to be a normal punishment. He thought about it for a moment. In all honesty, this was the least of Kimbo's problems. Difficult people had little effect on him, and even the most ornery old man wasn't in the "torture" category of punishment. So whatever. Finishing the last of his seafood ramen, he looked up to see the sun start to break over the horizon. He smiled. Today had the makings of a good day.

"Mornin' kid," the sleepy voice of Kiba. The dude looked like a mummy, his comforter was partially wrapped around him, and his eyes were all red and crusty. Kiba wasn't one for mornings.

"Sleep well?" Kimbo grinned.

"Ahhh, shut up you," Kiba said while rubbing his eyes. "I don't know what demon you made a deal with to be as fresh as a daisy at six in the freakin' morning, but most people need sleep."

Kimbo laughed and helped his uncle untangle himself. "Well, at any rate, I'll have to get going soon Uncle Kiba."

"Yeah," said Kiba, looking kind of sheepish. "Hey kid," he started, "look, despite what happens, I know you'll do great." Kiba smiled slightly and continued, "it's kind of hard for two bachelors like Akamaru and me to raise a boy, but all I have to say is, well," he paused for a second, "if she was here, your mother couldn't be prouder of you."

Kimbo looked at his uncle and at Akamaru. Kimbo felt and immense pride to have had these two raise him. Most people were kind of perplexed when he said he was raised by his uncle and his dog. But it was true. Kiba was a nice guy and really laid back, but Akamaru was an enforcer, and he made sure that Kimbo toed the line. He couldn't have asked for better parents. He looked at his uncle and though about his mother, Kiba's sister. From what Kiba said about her, she was a Black Ops tracker like him and was killed by a rogue ninja. Kimbo had no idea who his father was, all he knew was that he was not from Konoha, but he didn't care much. Kiba and Akamaru were the best parents a guy could ask for.

Kimbo flung himself onto his uncle. "Don't worry Uncle Kiba! I'm going to nail that test and then I'm gonna kick the Hokage Sama's butt and take his place!"

Kiba warmly embraced his nephew. His wild hair and eyes were his, but when he looked at him, he saw Kimbo's mother, a woman of strength and intelligence. He had no doubt in his mind that this bright eyed youth would be a great ninja; he might even become the Hokage like he said. "I know you will, kid. Now scoot. The exam will be starting soon."

Kimbo grinned and ran off as fast as he could, only to trip over a very surprised stray cat.

"There are times I worry about the kid," Akamaru barked to Kiba.

Kiba grinned as he watched Kimbo frantically run away from the crazy feline. "Naahh, he'll be fine. He's a good runner."

Nursing battle scars from his fight, or should I say flight, from the evil stray cat of death, Kimbo made his way into the academy. Looking upon the sparkling windows with malice, he made his way into his classroom. About fifty or so students were in there, with looks on their faces ranging from boredom to the final stages of shock. Kimbo glanced around and saw his two friends Akira and Gasa near the front.

Akira and Gasa are the oddest couple (not in the romantic way, as you'll see later on, they're both straight) you could ever imagine. At a glance. Akira was tall, with dark, almost swarthy skin and curly black hair that was very rarely seen because of the sash tied around his head. His skin tone and head scarf made him look kind of like a pirate. He wore a massive jacket with about ten million gazillion bazillion pockets in it full of God knows what . He once claimed he had a legion of Iwagakure lawyers in it, and nobody doubted him too much. Behind his half moon glasses were eyes that were the light brown color of copper, and they seemed to glint metallically as well.

Gasa, on the other hand was short, and was often called "fish belly" by Akira because of his ridiculously pale skin. He wore a massive rain hat, his namesake, which essentially covered up his face, but every now and then, you could see his piercing blue eyes hidden behind glasses and his short blonde hair. He wore a long gownish kind of black shirt with blue rain clouds and a severe collar.

They seemed like an odd couple, but they were in reality like butter and just about anything edible. Perfect for each other. (I would like to stress again, the two are not gay; it's just kind of hard to describe best friends without making it sound like they love each other. Well, they kind of do, but not that way, more of a brotherly love. Whatever, back to the fic.)

So as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by… myself. Hmm. I think I've gone mad. Oh well. So Kimbo sidled up and sat beside his two buddies.

"So, how are you two feeling today?" Kimbo asked them.

"Like when we went to Sunagakure," Akira said.

"You mean at the hotel?" Gasa asked.

"Yeah, and the Komodo dragon. Remember, you woke up in that tub full of ice!"

"I still don't know where my kidney is."

See? This is what I mean when I say that they are perfect for each other! Though this conversation was completely illogical, they both understood it perfectly! Behold the two weirdest weirdoes of Konoha!

Of course, Kimbo was all like "WTF, guys!" To which, Akira and Gasa burst out laughing.

"We're fine," Akira said after catching his breath, "although working the night shift at Chouji's left us a little drained."

"Yeah, but my sources tell me that the first part of the test is a written exam. Mostly history and some ninja basics. We should do fine."

Kimbo smiled. Gasa was talking about his shinobi crows. Gasa's clan was rather druidic, and his particular affinity was of the air. Among other hobbies, Gasa kept an aviary of shinobi birds he had trained, most of them being crows, though he had two young hawks and even an old raven as well.

"Have you managed to make that Summoning scroll yet Gasa?" Kimbo asked. Gasa was going on about making it so he could summon his birds like the legendary Kakashi could summon his pack of nin-ken.

"Almost. I have Akira putting the finishing touches on it. It should be done before I become a genin."

Akira grinned. "At any rate, beetle brow sensei's here, so the test is about to begin."

Lee sensei never so much "arrived" as he did "come into your field of view so violently and garishly you almost have to respect him", and in true form, Lee appeared in the middle of the classroom in a cloud of white smoke in his standard nice guy pose. He had actually came in so fast that a miniature tornado had sucked up all of Akira's calligraphy tools he had been using to write Gasa's summoning scroll.

"Terribly sorry Akira, my youthful pupil! Were you in the middle of something important?" Lee asked with an exuberance that almost made you cringe. Lee hadn't really changed at all since his genin days, or he changed dramatically, depending on how you saw it. Physically, he was still the same. Tall, fit, with creepy eyes and massive eyebrows, though he had grown out his hair a bit and now wore it in a loose braid. His clothing, on the other hand, was something completely new. He had eschewed his hideous green jumpsuit of his youthful days and opted instead for a Chinese style long sleeved shirt with matching pants. Of course, he still had the orange leg warmers, and unfortunately everything was still the same horrid green that made your brain hemorrhage and your eyes burn.

Akira grinned and said it was fine. Lee nodded to his student and faced the entire class with fire burning in his eyes.

"Youthful students! Today is the day! It will be upon this day that you will take all you have learned from me and forge this information into a sword that will allow you to cut through the forest of inexperience and be bathed in the eternal light of knowledge and youth!"  
"I shall make a perfect score on this test, Lee sensei, or I will do two hundred pushups with a hundred pound boulder on my back!" came the fervent response of Pensuke, who honored Lee to the point of fanaticism, and who looked at him like a father. Of course, this was nothing new. As a matter of fact, the students often were curious when he didn't do it at least twice a day. They all greeted this overflowing profession of fanaticism by moving themselves three feet away from Pensuke in unison.

Squeeaak! The chairs said.

Of course, Lee was moved by this as if this was the first time this had ever happened, and everyone prepared themselves for the second faze of this love fest.

"Oh Pensuke!" Lee tearfully replied.

"Oh Lee sensei!"

"Pensuke!"

"Lee sensei!"

"Pensuke!"

"Lee sensei!"

The two embraced, and Kimbo got the oddest feeling of crashing waves and cheesy inspirational music. After this sickeningly heart felt moment, Lee continued his explanation for the test.

"The test shall have two parts, one written and one applied! My former teammate Aburame Tenten shall detail you on the first part of the test!" (yes, you read the name right. Maybe one day I'll write about how Shino and Tenten got hitched. It's quite hilarious.)

A pretty woman of about thirty nodded to Lee. She had her brown hair pulled back and held together by pins. She wore a Chinese style sleeveless skirt and the standard issue shinobi pants. "Well, students," she started out; "the first part of the genin test is a written exam. It is made up of basic questions that you should know as a ninja academy student. The questions range from village history to basic techniques to problem solving. I will be the proctor for it, and if I see any of you cheat, Lee has given me full permission to pin you onto the wall with thirty kinds of weapons," she finished sweetly. Just about every student stared at this unassuming woman, imagining if she could honestly do that. "So, here is the test. Good luck, everybody."

Kimbo took out his pencil and looked at the test.

Question 1: Name the three basic jutsu types

Question 2: Who was the Sennin that made a pact with toads?

The test went on like this for about a hundred questions. Kimbo smiled. He knew he would pass this part at least with flying colors. Kimbo finished up pretty quickly and observed his fellow classmates. Akira and Gasa were also done, as was Hiromaru who had a bored look of contempt on his face. The three friends grinned and Akira took out a small fat box. Opening it up, it was shown to be his personal weapon of choice during school break wars, where the kids would "play ninja". They were in actuality, just regular pushpins. Akira had made the amazing discovery of the aerodynamic design of pushpins, and nothing made him happier then to peg people in the butt with them. Yes, he is easily amused, but come on, what were you like at thirteen?

The two other friends grinned and took a few as well. Today, they were going to get their revenge on Hiromaru. Gasa and Akira had been poring over some old scrolls in the Ninja archives in the academy as they often were, and had noticed an old file in the section for old hospital cases. It was a medical chart for Hiromaru's uncle and now head of the Hyugaa clan, Neji. It showed when he had fought against one of the Gates of Sound Village. The chart showed how the Sound nin Kidoumaru discovered the blind spot in the Hyugaa's Byakugan it also showed where the wounds were. Using this information, they realized how they could use this knowledge against Hiromaru.

Hiro wasn't much liked by his classmates, and was often being pelted with apple cores, wadded paper, pencils, and many, many pushpins launched from Akira's thumb and forefinger. None hit him. Because of his eyes, he seemed to be able to see in the back of his head, but the information from the medical chart showed that the Byakuugan had a blind spot just above his first thoracic vertebra. And so, a plan was formed. It was called operation "stick Hiro with so many pushpins he'll cry".

Gasa took the first shot. Waiting until Hiro had looked away; he took careful aim and launched a pushpin towards the Hyugaa's back. Hiro saw it before it stuck into him, but couldn't dodge it completely in time. It hit him in his right shoulder, and he jumped up and gave a yelp.

"Mister Hyugaa, please note that others are still taking the test," Tenten said rather sharply.

"But Gasa…" Hiro looked to see Gasa gazing innocently into space, the pushpins nowhere to be found. "Yes, Mrs. Aburame."

Hiro now faced the three, determined not to let them get another chance at sticking him. The three grinned and huddled together for a second, whispering to each other. Akira then pointed behind Hiro and made a surprised face. Hiro looked behind, which gave Kimbo enough time to launch a pushpin at Hiro at his blindspot. Once again, Hiro tried to dodge, and once again, it was futile. Kimbo's pushpin hit him in the back of his head. Hiro bit back a howl of agony and stood up.

"Mister Hyugaa!" Tenten scolded. "What did I tell you about standing up?"

"But didn't you see Kimbo…" Kimbo stared innocently at Hiro. "I apologize again, Mrs. Aburame."

Hiro sat down and stared directly at the three, willing himself not to get in trouble again. Akira grinned and whispered something to the other two. They grinned, and each grabbed a pushpin. Kimbo and Gasa each launched one in two different directions, but both were aimed at Hiro's head. Hiro smiled and dodged both easily. What he hadn't noticed, though, was Akira's pushpin, which was traveling in the same direction as Gasa's. Akira was an excellent pool player apparently, because his pushpin ricocheted off of Gasa's to Kimbo's, which then bounced of Kimbo's and went straight to the back of Hiro. The Hyugaa didn't even have enough time to dodge before it lodged into his bum. Now you must know that the pushpin didn't hit his posterior, it _lodged into it_. He jumped twelve feet in the air and howled.

_"_I've had it with you, Mister Hygaa!" Tenten cried, and took out a scroll. Using it, she summoned about thirty different weapons, ranging from battle axes to spears to regular kunai to even what looked like Cloud's buster sword. She threw all of them at the still airborne Hyugaa, and pinned him to the ceiling. "Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to fail you for disrupting the class."

"Please, Tenten san," pleaded Akira, "I don't think Hiro deserves that. If you can, please allow him to continue with testing."

Tenten thought about it. "Very well, I suppose I could let it slide. You are lucky to have such good friends, Mister Hyuuga." You could see Hiro's face pale with pure anger at the three.

About twenty minutes later, everyone else finished. Tenten took up the papers and placed them on Lee's desk. "Well, that concludes my part of the test. Now Lee kun's going to talk about the applied section of the test."

Lee got up from out of his desk. "Very good! Now, Tenten chan, if you would be so kind as to help me dislodge Hiro from the ceiling, I would appreciate it!"

So **I left y'all at a cliff hanger, but only because I'd appreciate it if you all came back. So this is the second chapter, and we learn that things have changed a lot in the past thirteen odd years since we last seen the Naruto gang, yeah? Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. I would really appreciate someone reviewing, even if it's a flame dripping with hate. Well, I haven't much to say today, although would you all think it would be cool if I started posting Bios for the new characters, because I've been thinking about it. So whatever. Take care, and Ed, why haven't you read this yet? You hurt me.**


	3. The test begins part 2

After a bit of effort, Hiro finally came off. After they finished this, Lee stood in front of the class. "Now then, my youthful pupils, you see beside me a door." Lee motioned towards said door. "Beyond this door is the second and final part of the test. It comprises of three rooms, each testing one of the basic jutsu types that a ninja must learn. The first is taijutsu. The next room is the genjutsu room. The final room is the ninjutsu room. Also, please note that you need not use the jutsu type specific for the room. It is possible to make it through this test with hard work and intense specialization, but points are docked from your score, as this is a test of your versatility. You shall each go in one by one, starting with the first person to have finished the written test. Which I believe is you, Gasa."

Gasa grinned and walked through the door beside Lee. About fifteen minutes elapsed, and Lee motioned for Akira, then Hiromaru fifteen minutes after him. Finally, Kimbo was called on.

He took a deep breath. "Well, here goes nothing," he thought to himself. Opening the door beside Lee, he found himself in a white room. It was a long hallway, and at the end Kimbo saw the door to the next room. Kimbo shrugged and took a step. Then he dropped to the ground clutching his stomach. A wooden ball about the size of his fist had been launched from a wall. "So I have to use taijutsu to avoid the balls," Kimbo realized. With that thought he broke into a run. The balls started whizzing by. Three came in straight for his face. Taking out his kunai, he deflected all three. Then one came whizzing towards his midriff while another zeroed in on his head. Thinking quickly, he bended backwards and placed his hands on the floor. Both balls barely missed him. "Crap this hurts!" He thought tearfully as he scuttled across the floor on all fours with his belly facing the ceiling, only to see another come towards his… um, area. Needless to say, he was reasonably worried. Thinking quickly, he brought his legs up and did a backhand spring, landing on his feet and running backwards. Gripping his kunai once more, he threw it at the wooden ball. Turning a smart about face, he ran like a cat on fire to the exit, balls whizzing past. "Lee sensei," he panted, "I don't know how, but you're paying for this!" To his horror the door was slowly closing downward. "Oh no you don't!" Kimbo cried, and took a running dive through the quickly narrowing gap in between the ground and door. Now sure he was away from danger, he opened his eyes, and saw that he was in a different room.

"Well, the good news is I didn't die," Kimbo sighed and looked back. "Bad news," he said, contemplating the door, "I've lost my pants." Indeed, his baggy shorts had been caught as he had popped out of the door, and were now stuck between the ground and the door. He took a few minutes to attempt to wrest his trousers from the door of general annoyance, but to no avail. He shrugged, and looked to see what predicament he was in now. This room was smaller then the hallway he had just gotten out of, and was encrusted with doors. There were doors the size of his head, doors twelve feet in the air. There was even a perfectly normal sized door at ground level, which just so happened to be bristling with spikes and very obvious deathtraps. Kimbo sat down and thought for a second. He was going to enjoy the peace and quiet of this room for a little while. "Well, this is the genjutsu room, but how am I supposed to use genjutsu to get through?" The answer came instantly. "Of course!" He quickly made a sign with his hands. "Transform!" In a poof of smoke, where Kimbo once was, there was a cat with wild eyes and red marks on his face. Looking around, he saw a door that seemed big enough for him a few feet off the ground. With a well placed jump, he got his front paws onto the door's threshold. Pulling himself up, he wriggled through the opening for about three feet and popped out of the other side.

He fell about twelve feet down into the next room. Getting out of his henge, Kimbo got up and looked around. This room was a little bigger then the last room. It was about the size of a small training area, and the door out was just in front of him. Kimbo was suspicious. After the George Lucas like run through the taijutsu room, and the million and a half unreachable doors in the genjutsu room, he knew that there was going to be some kind of odd surprise here. To make matters worse, this room was testing his weakest subject, ninjutsu.

He tried to figure out what was the deal with this room, but nothing came to mind, so he fell back on his "fail safe" backup plan of winging it. He took a few furtive steps towards the door, but nothing happened. He took a few more, and still nothing changed. So with that he dashed across the room like mad and lunged for the door. As soon as he had touched the doorknob, he felt someone pulling him away and throwing him back to the other side of the room. Looking at it, he saw a perfect mirror image of himself, wild eyes, red markings, every single detail of the person's face echoed the same feature on Kimbo's. The only thing not his was the cold and determined grimace set on the thing's face.

Kimbo just about cried. "How the heck am I supposed to defeat you!" he yelled incredulously at what he guessed was a doppelganger. It just stared back at him with the same look of determination. Once again, Kimbo turned to his plan B, and started to make signs with his hands.

As said before, ninjutsu was not Kimbo's strong point, but he did know a few techniques. His main one was an old standby from the Inuzuka clan, the quadruped jutsu. It was a useful jutsu in the fact that it pulled reserves of chakra from the center of the body equally to each of the limbs, allowing a person to move ridiculously quickly and agilely on all fours.

As he finished the seals, he was rewarded with a feeling of intense warmth and energy that spread to every part of his body. Hunching down onto his hands, he took out a long hunting knife. Oddly enough, his doppelganger merely dropped into a fighting stance. Kimbo then realized that it probably couldn't use ninjutsu. With that thought, he launched himself towards it.

His knife was parried by a kunai his clone had taken out. It batted the knife away expertly and jabbed at Kimbo's midriff. Kimbo spun to one side and ran on all fours to one of the walls. He then used the momentum to bounce off the wall and fly parallel to the ground towards the clone. It took out another kunai and first parried Kimbo's second blow with one, then threw the other one at him. Kimbo dropped to the floor and then hand sprung himself back up, launching one foot downwards towards the clone's head. It brought its wrist up to parry, then grabbed Kimbo's ankle with his free hand. Kimbo grinned and bent his back towards his clone. He grabbed the back of both knees and pulled, bringing him down, but only for a moment. Once the clone had hit the floor, it tumbled backwards back onto its feet and aimed a kick at Kimbo. Kimbo caught the leg and swept his foot forward, knocking the clone down again. He then raced towards the door and tried to open it. Once again he touched the door, only to be wrenched away by his clone once more. The clone then landed a barrage of punches onto Kimbo, only to be knocked into the wall when Kimbo whipped around in a circle and landed the back of his ankle onto the clone's face..

"The leaf whirlwind," Kimbo said panting, "I guess I'll have some points docked for using taijutsu." As he tried to walk, he collapsed. His right leg had given out, apparently the stress from using one of Lee sensei's taijutsu techniques had strained the muscles too much. Limping on his one good foot and his hands like a wounded dog, he opened the door, only to once again be thrown onto the opposite wall by his clone, who looked almost completely untouched by the kick Kimbo had landed on his jaw.

"This is too much!" Kimbo yelled at the clone. "What is this! Why aren't you defeated! That kick would have sent my uncle through the wall! How are you unscathed! AND WHY ARE YOU JUST STARING AT ME!" he cried. As expected, the abomination just kept looking at him intently.

Kimbo realized that he would have to calm down. "Okay, let's think logically," he said to himself, "my opponent is a dude who is either at or slightly above my level in taijutsu. He doesn't attack me unless I attack him or go for the door. I can't knock him out or kill him apparently, so logically the only thing I can do is restrain him." He looked at his clone, and the clone looked back which just made him angry. What right did that thing have to wear his clothes? How did this thing have the nerve to look like him, save for the fact his clone still had pants on. The likeness was exactly the same from his long T shirt, his spiky brown hair, the red marks on his face, and his flowing parrot head shirt… Kimbo grinned as he realized what to do. Taking out his hunting knife, he put a kunai in his mouth and placed three in his other hand. He grinned through the hilt of the kunai and charged towards the clone. He slashed with his hunting knife, and the clone dodged it. He slashed again, and the clone ducked. As the clone dropped down to dodge another slash, Kimbo suddenly dropped down and kicked him up into the air. While in the air, remembering Hiro's ordeal with Tenten san, he threw the three kunai in his hand, pinning the clone to the wall by the sleeves and the third one aimed below the fork in his legs. Taking the kunai out of his mouth, he pinned the shirt's tails with it and his knife.

"Now just hang out there and chill for a while, okay?" He grinned as he walked towards the final door and opened it.

"What the heck!" he almost yelled as he beheld the scene in front of him. He was in the testing room he had walked out of

"Kimbo, there are still people taking the applied test, so if you would be so kind as to find your seat," Tenten san said firmly but not unkindly.

Still thoroughly confused, Kimbo wandered back to his seat, where Gasa and Akira were waiting for him. They grinned at the look he had on his face. "That was interesting huh?" Akira said grinning.

Kimbo mumbled an expression of utter confusion. Akira and Gasa laughed until Gasa decided it was time for them to enlighten their poor friend. "It was genjutsu," Gasa explained.

"And a really complex one apparently," Akira said. "To make an entire set of rooms, and to keep them consistent for each person, and with all the variables like the balls, the doors, and the invulnerable clone at the end, it's on a completely different level then even most jonin."

It took a second for all of this to sink into Kimbo. Then finally he said rather carefully, "okay, but guys, I have a very important question to ask you two." His friends listened carefully. "Am I," he started uncertainly, "am I wearing pants?"

Akira and Gasa just stood there for a second. "This truly is a serious question," Akira said stoically.

"Indeed," Gasa said seriously, "and we shall employ all of our tools of perception to answer said question in all accuracy." The two then spent ten minutes observing Kimbo with magnifying glasses, stethoscopes, telescopes, microscopes, even one of those little airport scanner things Akira had found in his coat, until they finally looked at a very embarrassed Kimbo and delivered their verdict.

"After an exhaustive study, we have come to the conclusion that you are not, in fact, wearing pants," Akira said in a monotone.

"You, sir, are wearing shorts," Gasa informed, before the two fell down laughing. Kimbo wondered once again if it was worth it to have these two as friends.

"And now that we have wasted a good few minutes, we still have some time on our hands, and I think if we launch another pushpin at Hiro, he's liable to kill us," Akira said smiling deviously.

Gasa smiled back. "Well I'm sure that you have something in your Technicolor dream coat to amuse us, Akira."

Akira laughed and stuck his hand in one of the many pockets of his drab, drab tan coat. He took out a deck of cards and started shuffling. "Seven card stud, anyone?"

The three then played cards for the rest of the time. Of course, in the end, Gasa won. They all knew he would. Gasa claimed that he could read minds, and they weren't ones to doubt the dude.

"You know, looks like almost everyone's done," Akira said looking around. Indeed, the place was almost completely full again. "Do you know who's the last one to finish?"

Gasa thought for a second. "You know, I want to say that it's-" but before he could begin to answer the question, an explosion ripped through the walls of the room. Chairs, tables, people were flung to every corner of the room, pencils became deadly needles of death, and the three boys found themselves under a pile of rubble and people.

Kimbo was finally able to climb out, to behold Colleen, the girl from Oyamadagakure standing in the middle of what was once the room the kids had walked into. A very putout looking jonin with long black hair and red eyes was staring at the poor girl, and Lee was looking exceptionally crispy. Poor Tenten had fallen under one of the desks that had been blown away by the blast, but other wise everyone looked relatively unhurt. For a few moments all that could be heard were the collective groans of everyone present. Then Lee called out in a surprisingly high-spirited voice for someone who had just been roasted like a Christmas turkey, "very good, students! This completes the second part of the exam. I, Tenten chan and Kurenai san shall review everything that you did, and we will give reports out at the end of your lunch break, which is right now. Class adjourned!"

Akira, Gasa, and Kimbo shrugged and went to get their lunches. Kimbo took his out of his backpack. "Well, that was one heck of a way to end the exam."

Akira took what appeared to be a two foot long sub out of his coat and laughed. Kimbo once again found himself contemplating his friend's coat. It was quite possibly the singularly most amazing garment of clothing he had ever seen in his entire life. Somehow it always had what he needed in it, whether it was a lunch, his I pod, even some decidedly odd items. One time Kimbo said that he had a headache, and Akira had pulled out a thermos of black tea, a few herbal candles, a CD player, a few CD's of the sound of the ocean, and a large foam mat. He, Akira, and Gasa spent twenty minutes in a wonderfully relaxed state, but after words Kimbo got a headache trying to figure out how and why Akira carried all that stuff with him. Not that Gasa's way of carrying lunch was much more normal.

"I guess we were just lucky that we made it out without much collateral damage," Gasa said while taking his bento out from under his rain hat. "I heard that every window in the academy shattered though."

"Kukukukuku," Kimbo laughed evilly, relishing the idea of the sucker who would have to put all those windows back in.

"Kimbo, no offense man, but that kind of creeps me out" Gasa said uneasily as he ate his lunch.

Akira looked beyond the two and sighed. "Speaking of creeps," he said, nodding towards an oh so obvious figure sauntering towards them.

"Oh, Hiromaru. It's so good to see you again," Akira said pleasantly, "how's your bum doing?"

Hiro looked upon the tall spindly frame of Akira with the icy stare of pure, impassive hate. "Better then your test scores, I'm sure."

"Oh, I'm not too worried about them. I saw your face when Tenten san threatened to take you out of the test though."

"You're lucky you have such great friends like us," Gasa said grinning.

Hiro just stared at the three smiling boys. "And you're lucky that green buffoon of a teacher is watching over you idiots now. But after the exam, I promise you, you're dead." He then walked off.

Only to find himself surrounded by the three. "Going off to easier prey, Hiro?" Akira said, towering over the Hyugaa.

"Hopefully not a certain girl from a distant village," Gasa whispered behind him. Though rather unassuming, Gasa had a way of being scarier than the two larger boys put together. "Now listen to our promise to you."

Kimbo brought his head an inch away from Hiro's. His eyes were the wild feral orbs of an angry dog. "Hiro, if you make fun of Colleen ever again, we, but especially I, will make sure that you suffer from a fate so cruel that you'll want to crawl back into your mother's womb and never come out."

The three pushed Hiro away. He looked at the trio with his usual contempt, but also with something else. In his pale cream colored eyes were the traces of fear. He sneered at them and walked off with his nose in the air, but the boys knew they had won a victory over him.

Akira finally plopped back down on the grass. "Jesu Christi, that seriously tires me out. I'm too lazy to be an angsty avenger type."

"I agree," Gasa said drinking a can of soda, "but I think it was worth it to see the look on Hiro's face. He need's someone to put him in his place."

Akira finished the rest of his delicious sammich. "Indeed, but Kimbo, you were kind of getting into it. I thought you might just tear his jugular out with your teeth."

Kimbo brooded over his steak and barbeque rib sandwich. "I guess you're right. I don't know what it is about the guy, but lately I've been wanting nothing more than to punch him as hard as I can in the face. Just wipe that smug look he has off once and for all."

Then a chunnin appeared before the boys, flung three papers at them, and disappeared. Just like that. No hellos, no smile, just poof, fling, poof again.

Akira grinned. "Well, let's see what we'll rub in Hiro's face tomorrow."

The three opened up their reports. Kimbo and Akira had gotten a perfect 100 on the written test, with Kimbo coming second with an impressive 96. Kimbo got the best score of the three in the applied test with a 94. Akira had gotten a 90, and Gasa had gotten an 87. All around, very commendable grades. Beside each grade was a stamp of the Konoha leaf and the word "pass" in capitol letters. The three grinned at each other.

"You know, I wonder how Colleen did?" Kimbo thought out loud.

"We should probably go talk to her," Gasa said, folding up his card. "She was looking kind of distraught going out."

The three got up and looked around. They finally found her, in the middle of a patch of trees with her knees pulled up to her head. She wasn't crying, but there was a definite sadness in the way she looked. The three walked up and sat around her.

"Hey," Gasa started, smiling slightly, "cheer up, emo kid."

Colleen looked at the three, smiling sadly. "Hey you guys, how are you?"

"A little bored," Kimbo said shrugging, "we usually bother you when things get dull, so what's up?"

Colleen looked at him with that same sad smile. "I think a few pieces of the academy roof still."

"Ohhh, come on Colleen," Akira said chuckling, "you're not letting a thing like blowing up half of a classroom keep you down, are you?"

That statement seemed to have been the last straw, because Colleen started crying uncontrollably. The other two boys glared at a very apologetic and embarrassed Akira. As smart as the dude was, he never was very tactful. Luckily though, he was a nice guy, and quickly began to resolve what he had done.

"Sorry Colleen," he said, and plunged his hand into one of his coat pockets, coming back out with four orange sherbet popsicles and passed them out. "Here. But seriously, why are you so sad? Everyone knew it was an honest mistake, no one's blaming you."

"It isn't that," she said sniffling through her delicious popsicle. "It's this." She showed them a card with two numbers on it. One was a perfect 100. The other was a 20. Beside the numbers was a red stamp that read "failed" and a note that said, "work on chakra control".

The three looked at it. Finally Kimbo looked up. "Wow, a twenty. You must have really impressed Lee sensei with that explosion."

Colleen started to cry again. "You guys just wouldn't understand! I know that all three of you passed. You don't know what it's like to see other people around you move forward and you just stay in one place and watch them go by!"

"Quite the contrary actually," Gasa said "I think we all know."  
"You see, back when we were eight, the Hokage got paid for one mission in apple tree seedlings by some crazy daimyo dude," Akira explained.

"Why didn't he give them back and ask for real money?" Colleen said, rather curious.

"Well, technically, daimyo are still samurai," Gasa said.

"So if he did give them back, he would have insulted the daimyo's honor," Kimbo put in. "This would mean that the dude would either be insulted and mount an invasion on our village, or kill himself to preserve his family's honor. Either way, the village loses the dude's business."

"The Hokage thought it would be simpler just to take the trees and smile. So he gave us kids the trees and let us go to town. Gasa being our resident plant dude, said we had to prune them."

"Pruning is a polite way to put it. We essentially had to hack off all the branches and our trees just looked like sticks," Kimbo said "Everyone laughed at them, because while ours were stumpy, the others had kept theirs untouched and pretty."

"We even had to pluck off the blossoms for two years so that they would grow" Gasa remembered "By now the others had even bore fruit. They were these sour little things and tasted pretty bad. But still everyone said that at least theirs had fruit, while ours hadn't done a thing but grow."

"Then three years of hard work and ridicule later, something awesome happened," Kimbo said, remembering the wonderful moment. "Our trees started to bear fruit. And it wasn't little crab apples, but huge delicious sweet fruit. We had so much we ended up selling a lot of it for money."

"And to this day, we still have great fruit every autumn. It's the same with you, Colleen," Akira said smiling. "You need a little more work, but I have a feeling that the fruits you bear will be far more numerous and greater than anything us three losers could hope to make."

"Yeah," Gasa agreed, "besides, you turned half a school room into a crater, and stayed standing. I don't think any of us has enough latent chakra to even do that, let alone walk away unscathed."

"Colleen," Kimbo said, looking straight into her eyes, "you have the makings of greatness in you. And don't let anyone say otherwise. Especially Hiro."

"You know, I've been thinking about that," Akira started, "and Colleen, I honestly think you intimidate Hiro. I think he realizes your potential like we do, but he's trying to keep you from realizing it, or you might actually become a threat to him."

"So next time he harasses you, just kick his sorry butt," Gasa smiled.

Colleen looked at the three boys and smiled through her tears. "I don't know what I did to deserve you three. Thanks. You rock."

"We know," the three said in unison and laughed.

Akira looked at his watch. "Well, you all know how much I love hearing my awesomeness being acknowledged, but I need to be back at my house. Take care, everyone." And with that, he leapt off towards his house.

"Me too. See you everybody," Gasa said, and did the same.

"Ditto," Kimbo said and smiled at Colleen. "Take care."

Colleen smiled back. "You too."

With that, Kimbo leapt off to go tell his dad about all the things that had happened. Today had been a very eventful day indeed.


	4. The after party part 1

**Holy Crap! Yes, I'm alive and to my most awesome friend Ed who's the only person to bloody review this, you ROCK! To all you other losers who are reading this but not reviewing, you SUCK! Please, this is my first real fic, I'd appreciate it. Anyway, today the boys show just how nerdy they are, and there is karaoke! Enjoy.**

Ahhh, dinner at the Inuzukas. Truly, you will find no family with such strong ties as the proud dog warriors of Konoha. Then again, this might seem slightly forgotten over dinner as they battle over that most coveted treasure of treasures. That treasure I am talking about, of course, is the rights to the last piece of teriyaki beef.

"Uncle Kiba, Akamaru," Kimbo said in a slightly whiny voice, "I wanna talk about what happened at school."

"I beg silence, my dear nephew," Kiba said in an overly dramatic voice. "I and Akamaru have a score to settle. I have not yet forgiven him for the injustice of the spare rib two nights ago."

"Or the curry beef the night before that," Akamaru laughed/barked. "Or the barbeque chicken wing the night before that. Or the-"

"SILENCE!" Kiba barked. "WE FIGHT!"

With that, the two bosom comrades leapt towards the center of the table towards the last piece of beef resting innocently on the plate. The two collided in midair and rolled off the table. The two bit and clawed at each other, trying not only to pull away from the other but to also maneuver himself closer to the prize. It was indeed a close battle. Kimbo, of course, had resigned himself to wait for his crazy uncle and crazier dog to finish their scuffle over who got the last scrap of meat. Finally, a scratched and bloody hand reached up from below the table, padded around, smearing blood, dust, and pulled out fur all over the virgin white tablecloth. Kimbo sighed. Why did he even bother washing that thing? The hand finally found the item it had been questing for, and as if the piece of now very dirty meat had already invigorated his body, Kiba rose up from the floor, and victoriously devoured this delicious morsel.

A few seconds later, Akamaru got up and took his place across from Kiba.

"Now, can I?" Kimbo asked cautiously.

"Yeah, sure, kiddo, go on," Kiba said, ready to listen after that night's great battle.

With that, Kimbo recalled everything that had happened on that day, starting with the written test and Hiro getting stuck with pins and then pinned himself all the way to when the three amigos cheered up their little emo kitten.

"Wow, you've had a full day, kiddo," Kiba said.

"It's good that you three stood up to Hiro," Akamaru growled. "It shows that you're becoming men."

"It's good to see you're standing up for what you believe in," Kiba said. He clasped his nephew's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

Kimbo was almost beaming. "Thanks, uncle Kiba."

With that, the dog warrior and his companion got up from the table. "Now get started washing those dishes, kid. Then after that you can put the table cloth in the washer." With those orders, Akamaru and Kiba slunk off to their room and snoring commenced about half a minute later.

"Geez, five minutes ago, I was becoming a man," Kimbo grumbled as he gathered up the plates. "Now I feel like an old housewife."

"So then he just told me to wash up everything and went to bed! And I bet he was faking falling asleep just so he wouldn't have to do anything!" Kimbo complained to Gasa as the two were walking to Akira's house to pick him up to go to the party of academy graduates.

"Kimbo," Gasa said. "to counter that statement, I am now going to ask you a series of questions."

"Uhh… Okay."

"Has your hair become long, straight, and silky smooth?"

"No."

"Have you acquired an odd fixation for chocolate and the Gilmore Girls?"

"No."

"Have you taken your Y chromosome and traded it in for another X?"

"What?"

"Forget it. And for your final question, do you wear stiletto heels just to make your legs look longer?"

"Gasa, are you trying to insinuate that I'm a girl?"

"No. A Hyugaa, actually. Now quit whining or you'll start rambling on about destiny or some such and I'll have to beat you up."

The two walked for a little while in silence while Kimbo recovered from that verbal pimp smacking. "Gasa," he finally asked, "why am I even friends with you?"

"Silence mind slave."

"Yes master."

So the two finally made it to Akira's house, a classy two story deal with a very nice balcony on the outskirts of town. Kimbo went up to the door and knocked on it.

"Oh, hey boys, how are you?" asked Akira's imposing father, Godoro. He was every inch a military man, from his gnarled hands to his long sinewy forearms, massive belly, and very impressive mustache. He was actually a retired Anbu officer, but now he worked at the Konoha hospital. Still though, he was an old war horse, and even irrepressible troublemakers like Gasa and Kimbo knew to pay him respect if they had any sense of self preservation.

"Quite good, Mr. Kurosawa. Is Akira inside?"

"Nope, he's off fooling in the shed. As usual," Godoro sighed and jerked his thumb towards the tool shed in the back.

"Thank you, Mr. Kurosawa."

The two trotted off to the tool shed, and upon opening the door, were rewarded with the scent of white phosphorus, sulfuric acid, and freshly cut grass. Akira was in the back, surrounded by various beakers and flasks bubbling and smoking and a few who were merely staring evilly at him.

"Akira, would I regret asking what the heck you're working on that requires converting your father's tool shed into an apothecary?"

"That depends on if you've eaten an hour prior to this," Akira said, scribbling something onto a clipboard. "Is dad getting impatient yet?"

"Yeah, he sounds like he's kind of resigned."

"I figured as much. Half a dozen years of your shed being taken over will do that to a guy." Akira sighed. "Well, I'm pretty much done anyway. I'll just take what I need and compile my notes."

"Akira," Kimbo asked cautiously, "what exactly have you been doing in here? Because I can't think of you doing anything for six years. Except maybe sleep."

To this Akira grinned. "My good friends, behold! The greatest innovation in biological warfare since Sunagakure's weapons of mass destruction!"

"Akira, those weren't even-"

"Silence!" Akira said with a powerful gesture. "And feast your eyes upon the biological weapon codenamed Green thirty eight!" with that, Akira whipped a white cloth off of a large table, revealing…

"Uhhh, Akira, just for reference, that," Gasa said, pointing at the contents of the table, "is a patch of grass."

"It is not just a patch of grass!" Akira said in the overly dramatic voice he usually saved for occasions such as this. "It is a special genetically engineered grass! It is fast growing, requires almost no tending, can live off of ten percent of the water required for regular grass, and gets no taller than what you see!"

"So what, you created the perfect grass," said Kimbo, who wasn't so much impressed with his friend's genetic achievement as he was surprised that lazybones Akira had committed so much time to working on this project. "What are you going to use this deadly biological weapon for? Win the Konoha Best Lawn Competition?"

To answer that, Akira threw a steak on the grass. And then it disintegrated.

"Behold!" he said in the same overly dramatic voice, "the first flesh eating grass! It has thousands of tiny pods filled with hydrochloric acid that rupture when anything puts pressure on it, thus causing it to get digested! The juices seep back into the soil and the plant takes care of the rest."

"Wow, I hate to admit it, but that is really impressive," Gasa said amazed.

"Dude, this is awesome!" Kimbo said, "A weapon like this will revolutionize warfare!"

"No, no it won't," Akira said sadly as he began to dismantle his lab.

"What are you talking about?" Kimbo asked incredulously.

"I asked for one to many advances on my allowance to get this done," Akira sighed as he sorted out his notes. "Dad's effectively frozen all monies I have ever earned. I'm not getting any money from him for about… twenty years. But it's cool."

"But dude, why don't you just get a patent on this stuff?" Gasa asked. "I can think of a least five people who would pay more than a hundred times what you're worth for it! I'll give you a hint, their names all end in 'kage'!"

"It's not just that, bro," Akira said as he put up flasks and beakers. "I've been working on this since I was seven. I'd sleep in here and take my meals in here, doing experiments and thinking of equations, crossbreeding different species of grass and concentrating acid concoctions. I went to therapy because of this! And only to finish it and lose all my money. As cool as it is, it wasn't worth six years of my life. So I'm done. No more playing God. I'm becoming a professional slacker. Besides, I think my dad will be happy to have the shed back after six years."

"It's probably for the best." Gasa said. "But now you have a good four to eight extra hours on your hands every day. How are you going to occupy yourself?"

"Well, besides more hanging out time, I've recently gotten interested in writing fan fiction."

"Really?" Kimbo said interestedly.

"Yeah, I'm even working on one right now. It's based off of that manga I read, Tomai, Loser From the Appalachians."

"Oh hey, do you have the new issue yet?"

"But of course." With that, Akira plunged his hand into one of the countless pockets on his jacket and came out with a comic book. On it was a tall boy running away from a bunch of what looked like crazed teenage girls. Under the picture was the title "Tomai and the rabid yaoi slash fan girls from the Gundam Wing section".

"Awesome," the other two boys said.

"You'll have to let me read that at the party."

With that, the three went off to enjoy their graduation party.

When Naruto took up the position of Hokage, many prominent lords and people of note spoke out against him. They claimed he couldn't delegate, that he was crass and simple, and had no upbringing. But despite all these things, they all conceded to one point.

He could throw one heck of a party.

And true to form, the Konoha graduation party lived up to the Hokage's expectations. The whole of the town square was transformed with the warm glow of paper lamps, the sounds of music and laughter, and the heady smell of delicious food. Everyone had chipped in. Even a certain person who had been gone for a long time.

"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, beholding his comrade sitting behind one of the booths. "Where the heck have you been for these two years! I almost had to designate you a missing nin! Again!"

"Many places, mainly Iwagakure. I had to, find myself I guess."

"So, did you?"

"You know what, I have. I realized life's to short to be such a bastard. So, I'm done being an avenger. I'm actually thinking of starting up the Konoha police force again, and rebuilding the old Uchiha district. I think my parents would like this more than their sons killing each other."

"You know, it would probably be a good thing," Naruto said musingly. "The relations between the nations after the rearranging of country boundaries has been a bit strained. It would be nice to have some locally based ninjas to keep the peace. Anyway, are you sure you're completely over being an avenger to your family?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, you have a kunai throwing booth open where you charge kids to throw knives at Itachi's likeness."

Sasuke looked at the likeness in question, which was now covered in kunai, almost like a bishy shaped pincushion, and laughed. Honestly laughed.

"Well, old habits die hard."

Naruto smiled. "I like the new you, Sasuke."

"Don't get used to it," Sasuke now said in a more familiar tone. "This is just for the day. Come tomorrow, I'll be the same dude you've hated for all these years. I don't know who was stupid enough to make you Hokage in my absence, but I'll make sure to show them what an idiot you really are."

For about two seconds, Naruto wanted to punch Sasuke in the face. But then he saw his eyes. They weren't the ice cold things he remembered from his childhood. They were deep and warm. And finally, he understood. "Good to have you back, teme."

"Same to you, dobe."

Awww, geez, wasn't that freaking adorable? But wait, what of our hero, Kimbo and his crazy friends? What has been happening to them? Why, their young hands and backs have been exploited, of course!

"No! You must cut the meat thicker than that! And that's not how you hold the knife! And Akira, use those gorilla arms of yours! Don't hold the skillet like that! You'll burn yourself! See! Well, serves you right, genius! And Gasa, quit messing with that cask of sake!" Chouji was in his element, bellowing at about half a dozen of Konoha's delinquents, all having been pressed into service for various tabs and misdemeanors.

A slight gurgle escaped from Gasa's voice box as Akira took a break from being deep fried to roll the massive sake cask off of his friend. "Do you know what movie I'm reminded of right now?" the tiny pale kid said as he fixed his rain hat.

"Ben Hur?" Akira laughed. "I suppose so, but I don't think I'd like to see a sweaty Chouji san with his belly bared.

"Gah! Akira, do you do this just to creep us out? And what's with this cask! There can't be anyone who needs this much nosh!"

"I'll have a bowl of soba with sake, please," a quiet voice said from the front of the food stand.

The three looked at the man who said this. He was tall, and wore a coat with a severe collar. He was wearing a ninja mask that fitted over his mouth, had his hair pulled back in his hitaiate, kind of like Akira's head scarf, but not as long. He had a pair of opaque shades on as well, making his face completely inscrutable.

"Hey, wait! I know you!" Kimbo exclaimed. "You're Aburame Shino!"

"Yes." The masked shaded man said.

"Wait, weren't you on the same genin cell with Kimbo's uncle?" Akira asked.

"Yes."

"And don't you work as a black ops tracker with him nowadays?" Gasa asked.

"Yes."

"Yeah, you're uncle Kiba's best friend right?" Kimbo asked.

Complete silence. "May I please have my soba?"

And that pretty much was the party for our trio of misfits. They spent the entire time behind the counter, watching people come and go, and caught glimpses of many of Konoha's citizens. Lee and Sakura passed by with their five kids, Tenten finally dragged her husband away, and Hinata came over and helped the kids clean the booth up.

"Now hurry up, kids. The jounin are going to do karaoke. You don't want to miss that, do you?"

The boys grinned and took front seats. Grown ups embarrassing themselves on a level that wasn't even possible by there pranks? Yes please.

And so, the competition started. Not surprisingly, Kiba was the first eliminated. Poor dude. He's a nice guy, but I've heard tomcats sing better while being swung around by their tail. The night wore on, the boys either listening interestedly or laughing hysterically at the antics of their elders, and finally, the last karaoke battle began.

It was Rock Lee versus Shino. Who'd have thought. Lee, of course was getting seriously into it, puffing his chest out, striking poses, blowing kisses to his thoroughly embarrassed wife, and making ludicrous claims of what he'd do if he'd fail, settling finally on doing ten thousand sit ups with a vat of live scorpions on his belly while resting atop hot coals.

Shino, on the other hand, didn't say a thing, though he was drinking sake out of a largish jug and was still so sober that he could do a brain surgery blindfolded while settling his taxes on the phone. The guy could hold his drink down like an Irishman.

Lee started out, performing a love song to his wife, Fever by Ray Charles. He sang the jazzy tune so beautifully it began to snow, but it is winter. Still though, it added to the effect. His voice was as silky smooth as a baby's caboose, and all the women in the crowd were mesmerized. Then all these women tried to leap on the stage, but Sakura socked all of them into next month. For those of you still trying to figure out how a dude like Lee could sing, allow me to show you how it all went down.

Lee: Oh, Gai sensei! My adoration of Sakura chan eats away at me like a thousand giant termites of love! How can I show her my everlasting love for her in a way that shows all of my youth!

Gai: Lee, my prized pupil of all that is youthful! The answer is song! Let your feelings flow from your heart to your mouth in an unstoppable surge of youth! I happen to be a prize winning tenor and will teach you everything that I know!

Lee: If I cannot woo Sakura chan with my voice within a week, I will… I don't know, do ten million pushups or something to that effect!

Gai: Oh Lee!

Lee: Oh Gai sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai sensei!

Aaand, the huggy beach wave thing. Hey, you guys know what I'm talking about, use your bloody imaginations.

Though he did master singing in a week, it took him another five years to actually get a date with Sakura. Coincidentally, on their first date, Lee sang to her, and the two were married in three months time. Also coincidentally, the two now have five children with another on the way. Sakura's two months in. Those crazy sex-havers.

So, back to the competition. Lee has finished and was being graded by the fabulous judges who were, in fact, the sennin. Orochimaru was taken out of the Konoha prison just for the occasion.

"Yo, dog, you did you're thing. Like totally, the thing a dog like you does, it was totally done, dog." That was Jiraiya.

"Beautiful! I love it! You're so unique and beautiful and I just want to hug you until your cute little spine is crushed to dust!"

"Dreadful."

That was Orochimaru and Tsunade. You know what, I'll let you decide who's who.

So then it was Shino's turn. He had chosen "What a Wonderful World" by Little Louis, and hearing him was like getting hit in the back of the head with a lemon wedged onto a golden brick. His voice was like the most delicious honey of all time, and it oozed through the ears of all the listeners, moving everyone to tears.

For those of you wondering how our boy Shino can sing, lemme fill you in.

Shino: I have read every book in this entire library on all jutsu and training. Did I miss anything?

Librarian: There's this book on singing.

Shino: I'll take it.

Shino memorized the entire book in a little more than a week and has been able to sing like an angel since. While we're talking about marriages, Shino and Tenten were married about a year ago. No talking about kids yet, though Shino would like some.

The stereotypical quotes from the judges, and Naruto himself walked onto the stage holding an envelope. He wiped a few tears off of his face, and opened up the envelope. "And the winner for this year's Jounin Karaoke Super Showdown is-"

**And, another cliffhanger. Hate me yet? What's that? You want to hang me by my colon? Well how about telling me that in a review? It would be mutually beneficial to both of us. I get acknowledgement to fuel my ego, and you get to tell the whole bloody world how much you hate me. Join us next time to find out who gets the gold! This is Tomai, signing off.**


End file.
